running around this cruel world sure can get dramatically tiring, luckily having come generations upon generations into this iteration of civilization we have bestowed on us the spoils of living with a corrupt government. The explicit spoils i speak of are automobiles and commercially available sustenance.
While in bed on a rainy Monday morning i began to contemplate, for the briefest of moments i assure you, my life. This is odd because my policy on thoughts of this nature states verbatim: “DON’T” as thoughts of this nature generally lead to thoughts of ineptitude and self pity. This particular morning however they lead to the revelation that having Monday off due to rain meant i wouldn’t make my insurance payment on Tuesday.
This thought would normally rattle someone in my situation who vests so much of their faith in the belief that their automobiles lineage can be traced back to Christ. It was however upon realizing that i had to work Tuesday morning that i more than quickly dropped back into REM sleep.
On Tuesday however after coming home from work i realized i had yet another problem, not working had still left my funds vitally short and though i could drive to greenfield and pay my insurance, i could not venture off the beaten path to get any personal enjoyment from the trip. This bothered me quite severely since despite believing that i drive the Davinci-mobile i didn’t want to make a trip solely to handover my pay to “the man”.
Ultimately coming to the realization that i had to pay money to make money, i hauled my ass to greenfield by way of a 3.1 liter v6. After making payment my pocket lint had gained majority shares in my pants and my only cash was the 99 cents in my pocket and on leaving the insurance agency i realized that would soon be gone as well.
As though it was scripted a sign caught my eye, “.69 CENT SLUSHIES”! at the Cumberland farms. I immediately cut off a truck to get my hands on my prize, i mean i had excess responsibility points since i had gotten of my ass and driven to greenfield without the goal of personal gain, and i might as well spend those with my last few cents.
Once i was inside the complex i made a b-line through the rows of junk food and dashed the last meter to the slushie machine. A clearly novice slushie maker was behind me, and it was her face that gave her away, in roughly her middle thirties the women was astonished that i had the audacity to mix NRG high caffeine slush with basic cherry. i would even go so far as to say that she would have let me fix her own slush at that point, but i merely gave her that timeless han solo line: “I know” and turned my back to her. Thinking back she prolly came during this experience…
Regardless of how hot and heavy she got im sure her heart was all a flutter. Back to hauling ass, i spent the day at my sisters watching her spawn and had an overall great day.
oh and for those of you who are like “but you said you had 99 cents and a slushie is only 69!” In the words of the timeless Ice Cube “ch-chickety-check yourself before you wreck yourself” cause your a numerically obsessed bitch, go watch the number 23 and orgasm or something. that movie blows and so do u, cause i spent the rest on an airheads extreme, strawberry flavor.
Ive got some more of this shit but i have to work in a few hours so ill scribe it down some other time.
Peace and luv, Zypher T. Leetest